What starts as a beautiful love can turn into an unsafe relationship. After a quick start with excessive attention, the relationship gradually shifts to coercive control. The partner systematically dominates, threatens, and controls the victim. There are often signs that things are not going well, such as ignoring feelings, blackmail, manipulation, keeping the victim away from family and friends, or threatening with violence. Even small changes in the victim can indicate coercive control. For example, canceling plans at the last minute, suddenly stopping wearing makeup, or always needing to be available for the (ex-)partner. Coercive control can also be accompanied by physical and sexual violence. This can escalate to lethal violence.
Recognizing signs together and intervening
Recognizing signs is essential to take a stand against femicide. Secretary of State Rutte from Justice and Security: “Survivors often say: ‘If only I had seen it. If only I had recognized the signs.’ Signs that precede femicide are often overlooked by friends, family, colleagues, or others in the environment. While femicide is one of the most predictable forms of murder. Therefore, we are launching a campaign that helps people recognize the signs and so-called red flags. We call on everyone: are you worried or do you recognize signs? Check your feelings. Ask for help and advice, even if you are in doubt.”
Martin Sitalsing, portfolio holder for Care & Safety of the police, adds: “Coercive control and intimate terrorism largely take place behind closed doors and are not always directly visible. But there are often signs. That’s why it’s so important that we work together – police, Veilig Thuis, municipalities, care organizations, and citizens – to be alert to those signs. The earlier we can identify that a relationship is unsafe, the greater the chance we can prevent escalation. Family members, friends, neighbors, and colleagues often see first that something is wrong. By sharing your concerns, you can make a difference.”
The importance of collaboration
The police work together with the Public Prosecution Service, Veilig Thuis, and other partners to better recognize, record, and use signs of coercive control in criminal investigations. Additionally, officers and detectives receive extra training to signal these patterns at an early stage. Sitalsing emphasizes: “Collaboration is essential. We cannot do this approach alone. We need the expertise of partners and the eyes and ears of society. The more people know what to look for, the better we can protect victims together.”
What the government is doing
Victims of domestic violence and child abuse must always be able to rely on protection and support. They deserve help at the right time, so they have the chance to build a safe life. In addition to this public campaign, the government is also working to increase professionals knowledge about coercive control and improve the criminal justice approach to psychological violence. Together with the police, the Public Prosecution Service, and Veilig Thuis, the government is working on better case formation, so that signs and behavior patterns indicating coercive control are better included in the criminal justice file and can be used in a criminal case. The Ministry of Justice and Security is also preparing a legislative proposal to criminalize psychological violence, focusing on coercive control.
Additionally, the cabinet is investing in broader strengthening of the protection of victims of domestic violence and child abuse: there will be additional specialized prosecutors, and police officers will receive better training.
“We are making safety more visible in guardianship and visitation cases, improving the use of temporary restraining orders, and exploring with municipalities how we can deploy the victim device more broadly,” says Secretary of State Rutte. “This is a device that signals the distance between the victim and the suspect/convicted person and is connected to the monitoring center of the probation service. With these steps, we are further advancing the approach to domestic violence and child abuse: for more safety, better protection, and quicker action.”
Recognize the signs
Together we can help victims.
Are you worried about someone in your environment? Do you recognize signs of control or violence?
• Call Veilig Thuis: 0800-2000 (free, also anonymously).
• Chat via www.veiligthuis.nl.
• Is there immediate danger? Call 112.
The campaign ‘Where are you?’
The public campaign ‘Where are you?’ raises awareness of the signs of coercive control and urges people to contact Veilig Thuis for help and advice. ‘Where are you?’ is part of the measures of the government arising from the action plan ‘Stop femicide!’. For this campaign, the Ministry of Justice and Security and the police work together with all parties involved in addressing domestic violence and child abuse, including the ministries of VWS and OCW, Veilig Thuis, Public Prosecution Service, probation service, Youth Care Agency, municipalities, GGD’s, and Blijf Groep. Tinder also pays attention to (in)secure relationships during the campaign.
