‘A Rotterdam Douwer makes a difference by simply being themselves’

‘Actually, it started very simply,’ Josine says. For my work, I went to get acquainted with the foundation. I entered the building on Bierstraat and it immediately felt good. The place, the atmosphere, the energy. At that moment, there were also young people in the common room. It felt open, safe, without judgment.’

This fits me 

Josine had been thinking for a while that she wanted to give something back to the city. ‘I live and work in Rotterdam. This city has given me a lot. Then there comes a moment when you think: what more can I mean? When I walked into the Douwers, I knew: this fits me. I was mainly curious if I could add something.’

The Rotterdamse Douwers Foundation helps young people between 16-27 years old who get stuck somewhere in their lives. For example with school, work, finances or housing. The foundation connects the young person to a mentor so he or she does not have to figure everything out alone. Such a mentor is called a Rotterdam Douwer.

Not a caregiver

What appealed to Josine was exactly what it is not. ‘You are not a caregiver,’ she says emphatically. You do not treat or solve. You spar, advise, think along. And above all: you are yourself. She continues: ‘I have a network, many young people do not have that. I have had various jobs, I know how work works. Also, like almost every adult, I have moved several times in my life. That may sound banal, but precisely those ‘ordinary’ things make that I can mean something to a young person.’

‘If a young person, for example, moves out independently for the first time, I can help,’ she explains. ‘What exactly is in the rental contract? What costs come every month? How do you decorate your house nicely for little money? Those are not complicated things, but you do have to know them. And I know them, just from my life experience.’

Sincere interest

You do not have to be an expert to become a Rotterdam Douwer. And it does not matter what profession you have. ‘Whether you are a receptionist, policy advisor, lawyer or entrepreneur: you always have something to offer young people,’ says Josine. ‘By showing sincere interest and standing next to someone, you get very far.’ She emphasizes that many young people who come knocking have often experienced unpleasant things. ‘Then it already helps to just do fun things together. Having lunch together or going to a football match. Or going to IKEA to look at stuff for that new apartment. That is not a side issue, that is building a relationship.’

Hunger

Last year Josine tried to give the 17-year-old Esra* a push forward. ‘She had gotten into trouble, partly because of a bad boyfriend. That relationship was over and now she wanted to go back to school and live independently.’ Their first meeting was in the Douwers building, together with Esra’s caregiver. ‘It was late afternoon and she clearly had not eaten all day. There was a jar of speculaas cookies on the table and she went for those,’ Josine says. ‘That affected me.’

Disappointment

There was a mutual click between Esra and Josine and they met a few times. ‘Unfortunately, it got quieter after a while,’ Josine says. ‘Esra responded later and more vaguely to my messages. Until I heard nothing at all.’ The caregiver also heard nothing from Esra. Josine: ‘She probably went back to her boyfriend. Of course, I found this very unfortunate, something like that does affect you. But keep in mind: in most cases a Douwer can really help a young person take a step further in life. That is why I like to stay involved as a mentor with the foundation.’

Training

You are not sent out as a Douwer just like that. Josine finds the training that every Douwer receives very important. ‘You learn to think from the perspective of young people. You learn to ask questions in a different way.’ She gives an example. ‘Not: why didn’t you go to school today? But: what did you do then today? That difference sounds small, but prevents a young person from shutting down.’ The training also covers expectation management. ‘Don’t assume someone will be on time. These are not business appointments.’

‘The most beautiful thing,’ Josine concludes, ‘is that as a Douwer you can mean something to young people by simply being yourself.’

Douwers wanted

Have you become enthusiastic after reading this story? Then become a Rotterdam Douwer like Josine. Even if you have little time, your effort can make a difference. Call or email us via the contact form. Link opens an external page in a new browser tab.. More info at www.rotterdamsedouwers.nl. Link opens an external page in a new browser tab.

*The name Esra is fictitious for privacy reasons.