Portrait Caroline Budike:
“I notice that people often think they quickly have an image of someone. That is why I try to listen first in everything I do. At the table, during dialogue sessions, or in a conversation that happens by chance. People tell me things they dont easily share: about loneliness, shame, or violence. ‘You see someone,’ I often say, ‘but you never know what she has experienced.’ That awareness forms the common thread in my life and in my commitment to others.”
My city
“My commitment to the city often starts at the table. I organize neighborhood meals and cook Caribbean dishes, deliberately halal, so everyone can join. People with a small budget, but also residents who can easily afford it. By eating together, conversations arise naturally. People come for the meal but stay for the personal contact. In those conversations, I hear what really matters: loneliness, worries, tensions behind doors. Precisely because I listen without immediate judgment, people dare to share their stories.”
Responsibility
“That personal contact runs like a common thread through my life. For example, one and a half years ago I supported a good friend who became seriously ill and knew she would die. Because she had no partner or children, she trusted me to arrange her funeral together with her family. I knew her wishes, her life, and her story. Being able to support her in that way feels like a great trust. The objects and heirlooms she left me now also form the basis for my dream to set up a Caribbean museum.”
Domestic violence
“My own experience with domestic violence also plays a role. What stayed with me most is not only what happened, but how little people listened. Because I am a woman with a dark skin color, people often assume the violence was committed by a man with a dark skin color. In reality, it was a white man. Those automatic assumptions hurt because they invisibilize what really happens. That is why I find it important to keep listening to women without filling in their story.”
Safety
“In my daily life, I notice that women know how to find me. Sometimes because they know my story, sometimes because they feel they can talk safely with me. I dont give ready-made solutions and dont tell anyone what to do. Everyone determines her own pace. If the violence is not directed at children, I find it important that they can continue to see their father. But safety always comes first. Because of my own experience, I know how much energy it takes to stay standing while seeking help. That is why I try to be there, with attention and without judgment.”
“For me, International Womens Day is mainly about being seen and heard. You cannot see from the outside what someone has experienced. That applies to women who have experienced violence, but also to women in general. I take that thought with me in my dream to realize a Caribbean museum: a place where objects, stories, and people come together, and where there is room for multiple perspectives and real conversations.