They were sitting at the table 4 years ago when Aukje Baksteen from Rozenburg suddenly started speaking strangely. For a moment, her husband Dick thought he was being fooled, but when she remained confused, he realized the seriousness of it. ‘And then everything happens in a rush. You slowly grow into the role of caregiver,’ Dick says.

After several weeks in hospital, Aukje rehabilitated in Oud-Beijerland from a stroke. That was actually the start of the role Dick would take on in the life they would continue together. He actively helped with exercises at the Rembrandt rehabilitation center: ‘The physiotherapist joked that I could take over his job.’

Adjustments at home

At home, Dick also got to work. He had always been handy around the house. He could now put that experience to good use. He made various adjustments to make life at home easier for Aukje. Despite his age — already 80 years old at the time — he insisted that Aukje could return home. ‘A nursing home? No, I didn’t want that. She belongs at home.’

Since then, he has cared for her day and night. Aukje has hemiplegia, which means she always needs assistance. Even at night, Dick remains alert. He absolutely does not see the care he provides as a burden, but rather as a matter of course. Laughing, he says: ‘I do it whistling.’ Of course, his children sometimes warn him that he is taking on too much, but Dick feels vital and actually derives satisfaction from caring for their mother and coming up with practical solutions.

Humor helps

For Aukje, it is harder to let go of her independence. ‘I always did the household chores, like cooking and laundry. That still feels like my task. So that can be difficult sometimes.’ Yet she is grateful for Dick’s dedication. Together they try to ease Aukje’s disability with humor. Sometimes they laugh at her original remarks as an unexpected result of the stroke and then again at the funny situations daily life brings. They embrace the limitations. ‘As long as there is life, there is hope,’ Aukje says with conviction.

Their faith and mutual love form the common thread. ‘Life has changed, but not become less,’ says Dick. Where each had their own activities before, they now truly live in one shared world. ‘We are only now truly together,’ he says. Their story shows that caregiving is not only about caring but also about holding on to what is essential: ‘love, humor, and hope.’

Are you or do you know a caregiver? Visit the page rotterdam.nl/mantelzorg. Link opens an external page for more information about what the municipality can do for you.

Mantelfoon

Call Mantelfoon for advice, information, and a listening ear. Available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day free of charge at 0800 777 33 33. Or chat via the website mantelfoon.nl. Link opens an external page.

Caregiver Day

November 10 is Caregiver Day. The day when all caregivers are celebrated. All regions organize activities; for more information visit mantelfoon.nl/dag-van-de-mantelzorg-2025. Link opens an external page.